=)

happy ending... storm is over... puta, nung makita ko sya.... wala na lahat ng inis at asar... really funny... the stiff and strong personality became a loving sheep... hahaha...

=(

will I stop believing that things will be good till the end?

the big Beer issue

and he quote, "Beer makes me relax...."

I always told him that moderate drinking is good. Just take a shot or a bottle or two is enough to satisfy your cravings... He told me last time that he haven't drinking for more than 3 months in a row. I said we can break that on our monthsary on the 30th. Well, obviously he cant wait for it.

Since last week, he's been drinking with his "friends". Choosing the bottles of SMB rather than staying in the classroom to take their Pharma class... "Drinking is okay", I said, "But you should know your limits, specially you're still studying and its weekdays". And yes. The asshole didn't listen... Really bullshit..

=)

how far should i go???

=)

i realized that doubts has a good side...=)

100%

"omangalus: i can feel na happy ka, doubts are always there,wag lang tayo mabulag sa kasayahan, always keep an open mind and eye for all other things, wag pakalasing sa pagibig...."

a good friend of mine advised this. he is really correct. in love, i always give my 100%.... i dont care if i become the looser in the end.. all i want is to give my ALL...

a snob monday

I always reminding myself that monday should be started in high positive energy. No tantrums, no snob attitude, no sermons from my boss and no quarrels with my partner.
Though I started waking up in a positive aura, as soon as I received the regular "goodmorning " message the positive one faded instantly.

I sent more messages, even if I am in a busy meeting this morning but what I get is a response from air. The next is when he is bound to school.

Everyday, I felt that the sweetness is declining. Though I know this is the hardest dates for us since we are both busy on our own business. But I guess it is not fair that as soon I tried to open myself to make this relationship work, I do not feel the efforts from his end. I asked him if we can go out after the holy week but I havent receive any feedback yet since last night. It seems that he is avoiding the issue. Im excited for it because we will celebrate our monthsary. But again, I dont feel him. I am dying to see him and telling that I miss him so much, but as he texted , "miss u more"... No signs of sincerity.

I always ask myself, is there something wrong with me? My kakulitan is the only thing that you can count against me but other from that I guess there is none. I am pissed if I do not receive response immediately, because I do not buy the word "busy"... grrrrrrrrrr.... this is really really getting worse...=(

analyzing the letter A

As we get along, I never thought that I will be in the situation of doubting my partner. Well that's my instinct. And based on my experience, my instincts never fails me..

Same sex relationships is halfheartedly accepted in the community. I know that falling in love with him is really prohibited. And I consider myself as one the hoping bi's all over the planet that someday my heart will be warmth by someone. Though I have him, I do not feel his existence. And this impression really drives me crazy.

I do not expect that whenever we go out, he will be affectionate. But I guess, I should whenever we hang out at my pad. Unfortunately it never happens in both situations. The reality of the word remains a dream. The lesson... DON'T EXPECT!!!

While writing this entry, he texted and asked if I ate my dinner. I told him not yet coz Im still thinking about my recent medical check-up. What I received is just a simple response, "Okay, bahala ka"... As soon as I digested the message, I totally lost my appetite.

start of something new

everyone hopes for a new start every new year. even i. new career, new gadgets, new sets of clothes, new friends and so on. 2010 is really different. well aside from my biggest career shift..errr.. i think i found him. started as textmates. next being friends. end up being partners in life...